It's been a day, a week, perhaps even a year of many, many thoughts. In fact, I can't quite place my finger on it. The feeling that I feel - it's strange. Bittersweet is the best way I know to articulate. Yet that doesn't even begin to cover it. Yesterday I felt elated yet today I felt slightly qualmish. Yesterday I pondered upon the endless possibilities yet today I grasped my tiny feline with both hands as I wept. The poor thing was probably so confused but it was nice to embrace that which can't speak back but merely accept your feelings of despondency. These two opposing feelings are quite inexplicable yet somehow I am confident even with stomach in throat of that small voice inside of me saying, "It's okay. It is time. Now walk and I will lead."
Have you ever wanted to hold on to two worlds in their entirety? To grasp one realm while indulging in the other all at once? For me I simply wish Virginia and Florida were neighbors. Oh how easy it would make my transition. It would be a smooth one; quite seamless in fact. BUT I was reminded today as I peered upon the pages of my devotional that my adversity is all a part of reaching the place which my soul ultimately desires.
"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."
-2 Corinthians 4:18
The house I grew up in for 23 years is now officially sold. I will be packing up my things and heading south. You always leave behind things when moving forward. Many friends, family, and a home that is filled with numerous fond memories will be left in a place that will soon become slightly unfamiliar. Yet I will not change though the borders that surround me may. Today I walked into my home and it started to feel less like home. I feel so strange, sad, hopeful, confused all at once. Today I had quite a unique feeling within my heart and I can't quite place my finger on it.
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